dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is this like a preordered booty call?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
