yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
