just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
