I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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