she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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