Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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