I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
