Will you blow on my dice?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
