Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
