Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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