apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
