maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
