He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize