Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
