Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
