I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
