she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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