I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
