i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
