my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
