Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
