I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
