he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
