who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
