...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
