SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
