I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
