things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
