drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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