Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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