your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
