Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
