this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
