How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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