I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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