You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
