Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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