I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
