I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize