Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize