Don't you send me to vm
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
