i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
