She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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