Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
