His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
