Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
