At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
