I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
