I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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