she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
