I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
