I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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