I'm laying in your front yard are you home
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize