you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I want to make a zoo with you.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
where does the pee come out of this thing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Operation Purity has been aborted
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
