Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
