If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The beer is more important than you right now.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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