Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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