She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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