I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
