any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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