Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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