All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
