How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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