Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
