Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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