I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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